Is the ‘Voice of Doom’ running the show in your business?
It happens to us all doesn’t it? That negative voice, that inner critic.
I call it the ‘Mean Little Cow’ (MLC), because before I knew how to manage her, she was mean. Our brains are conditioned to spot danger and alert us to it, but these days we don’t have sabre toothed tigers coming and us, and yet we can go straight to catastrophe when some adversity hits us. Let’s face it, when run you your own business there can feel like there is a lot of adversity with the many challenges that present on a regular basis.
In its simplest form, I think the brain has 3 settings. Default, Supportive and Solution Focused.
If you are lucky you’ll have a supportive brain. If adversity hits, you remain mildly optimistic and will hear yourself say, ‘It’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse.’ It’s not particularly pro active but it means you will stay on an even keel and be open to opportunity.
If you are even luckier, you will naturally go into a solution focused approach. Your brain will ask, ‘What will I do now to face this challenge and overcome it? Who will I get help from? What will I learn from this?’ This is Growth Mindset in action. This is powerful if acted on.
Default thinking on the other hand will have you spiralling in that voice of doom. It will have that MLC running amok in your thoughts. Creating feelings of lack, unworthiness and feeling like a powerless victim. You might have thoughts like, ‘What’s wrong with me? Why do things like this always happen to me? How will I ever get out of this situation? It’s impossible.’
Look at the difference there. It’s huge and you’ll know which one you do, more often than not, I’ll bet.
The good news is you can train yourself to be more Solution Focused in your life and business. I have a whole community called the Solution Focused Sisterhood, where we support each other to do it every single day and the results are amazing.
A Top Technique to stay Solution Focused in your business.
The best way to demonstrate the technique is to see it in action. I asked some of my on line Biz friends to give me real scenarios where ‘Default’ thinking occurred in order for me to best demonstrate SFQs in action.
Donna’s default thinking:
"I only sold 10 places on my workshop, when my target was 20. What’s wrong with me? Why am I so rubbish at this online business?"
Alternatively, she might have been supportive:
"That’s not bad, it’s a start."
But let’s get this spiralling up and helping her growth with SFQs:
"What can I learn from this launch? 10 people were attracted to this, how will I attract double that next time? Is there any area I need help or support on to double my target next time? How will I serve these amazing 10 participants so that they have the best results and tell ALL their friends about me?"
SEE THE DIFFERENCE! It’s powerful stuff, isn’t it?
Then there is Julie.
Julie’s default thoughts:
"Oh my goodness a new florist has opened a shop in my village, why will anyone come to me now? The shop looks amazing and so new, how will I compete?"
She could think in a supportive way:
"OK don’t panic. You’ll just have to wait and see how it affects your sales."
Or she can go for growth and SFQs:
"What can I do to continue to WOW my loyal customers? How will I freshen up my shop? This is just the incentive I needed. Are there opportunities to collaborate on some bigger corporate contracts I’ve felt too small to manage alone?"
This is where the magic can happen.
Lastly, there is Jenny.
Jen’s default thinking was:
"How often do I have to repeat myself to this VA? Is she stupid? What’s the point in sending her work?"
If she had supportive thoughts she might think:
"Hopefully, she’ll get better as time goes on."
But if she has SFQs:
"What do I need to do to make myself understood fully? Am I communicating what I need doing clearly enough? What systems do I need to have in place to work effectively with this VA? How will I approach her to support a better understanding of my expectations?"
Solution Focused Thinking can change your life and sky rocket your business. It has mine.
So the next time you experience ‘Default’ thinking quickly give yourself some Solution Focused questions and take action on them. I’d love to hear your results. Email me at
Michala Leyland is a multi award winning energy and performance Coach, trainer and a motivational speaker. She’s the author of Bounce Back from Burnout. She has 18 years’ experience teaching, training and coaching in the education/business and charity sector.
Michala is passionate about helping women in business overcome burnout and overwhelm, gain more emotional resilience, more confidence and create a definition of success that works for them.