Today’s Guest Post comes from Life Coach, Jackie Meek and is timed perfectly to coincide with my free Business & Marketing Video Training’s over on Facebook! The first of three live training videos goes in depth about the Be, Do, Have principle!
Not heard of the Be, Do, Have principle? Read on!
What do you need to BE in order to DO what is necessary to HAVE what you want? Let me tell you the secret!
You’ve probably heard the saying many times ‘we are human doings not human beings’. This seems more evident today in our fast paced, technology fuelled lives.
As an entrepreneur it has become the norm to be action oriented, wearing our ‘busyness’ as a badge of honour and evaluating ourselves on how much we are getting done and achieving. We are more likely to be programmed to ‘do’ rather than to ‘be’.
There is a simple paradigm called BE, DO, HAVE.
It can be common to operate with a Have-Do-Be orientation instead.
Most of us think we need to HAVE a certain thing (love, time, money) so that we can DO something important (pursue our passion, create a relationship) which will then allow us to BE what we truly want in life (inspired, generous, fulfilled).
For example, to HAVE a fit slender body, what you might DO is follow a diet and exercise regime so you can BE happy.
This orientation can be unsustainable. The change is only on the outside.
Change needs to first occur on the inside to be sustainable and starting with your BE helps with this.
Starting with your BE
It’s good to start with WHO you are and what’s important to you, your BE.
As a busy entrepreneur, how often do you take a step back and ask yourself WHY you are doing what you are doing?
It’s easy to get so caught up in the go-go-go of daily life you can neglect to connect with your purpose or calling, your values, your motivators and your influencers.
How clear you are about the “why” affects your success, commitment, engagement and fulfilment. It also affects your efficiency, imagination, and ability to maintain and sustain the action.
In the example of wanting a fit slender body, consider what you have to be BE in order to succeed? Committed, disciplined, intentional, self-aware, accountable?
Being the person you really want to be right now, without having everything in place to reach your goals or not, will bring you closer to the life you want.
Doing the DO
For instance, in a Life Coaching session you may be encouraged to create an inspiring vision for your life. One client’s vision was: “I am on top of things because I have a plan. I am present and connected at home.” This was her BE.
Her DO was, schedule her week on a Sunday evening, find an accountability partner, manage her expectations of herself and not work when the children were around.
Her HAVE was, quality and focused time with her kids and husband, paying attention to what they’re doing, better productivity and higher quality work.
HAVE what you want
Whether you are happy with the results or not, you get something. It may be something tangible or a feeling. You are now in a position to evaluate your outcomes - continue on the same path, cease, or re-evaluate.
When you re-evaluate, it is important to cycle back through the BE to confirm whether your self-assessment was correct. If so, you can analyse what worked and didn’t work in your previous effort and identify where your actions need to be repeated or tweaked.
Remember, you have a choice to approach your experiences in whatever way you choose.
Greater happiness and satisfaction in work and life come from being conscious of who you are and what’s important to you. These act as a base for what you choose to do with your time and what you create.
Here are a few things you can do to remember and practice BEING:
Write a short sentence articulating where you want to be in 5 years’ time in different areas of your life. These could be: Relationships; Living environment; Socially; Spiritually; Financially; Career; Mentally; Physically; Socially.
Next consider how achieving these goals will make you feel: fulfilled, grateful, joyful, peaceful, satisfied, content.
Start to embody that state of being. For example, you may start being satisfied and grateful as if you have already accomplished your goal. It’s not about ‘faking it’, it’s about authentically embodying the desired states of being you truly want in your life.
From this state of being, begin to think about, talk about and consider the actions you might want to take. Picture your future self in this empowered state of being and the actions will become clearer and your ability to work on them will increase. For example, if you’d like to meet up with friends more frequently commit to an action relating to getting together once a month.
Don’t forget to have fun and get support from those around you. Even when you feel like you’re stuck, commit to taking baby steps and as you recognise how you can influence your life for the best.
Being intentional about your state of being and recognising you have a choice as to how you show up for things can make a significant difference to your life.
What’s stopping you from starting today?
Jackie Meek lives in Oxfordshire and is a qualified life coach with a passion to see mums move from surviving to thriving.
Her coaching sessions are calm and inspiring, giving her clients the time to stop and think clearly about how they want to bring about change and to help them to find balance as they juggle of family and work.
Jackie runs a group coaching programme called Bird Table Mums and works with mums on a 1:1 basis either face to face or online.